Do this before goal setting

Whether you set goals annually on your birthday, in January, in September, the first of every month, any and all of the above… our culture loves to future-focus.

It’s exciting to ask yourself: What do I want to DO next, WHO do I want to BECOME, WHERE do I want to FIND MYSELF in a year or five?

Stop right there… 

Here’s what many of us miss: Where we’ve come from – and how we feel about it – has massive influence over our ability to manifest our future plans.

I am amazed how often clients let me in on significant unresolved self-sabotage without even realizing it, and in the form of a whisper.

It sounds like this: “I should have majored in education instead of business”.

Or

“I stayed in that relationship for way too long”.

BAM.

And I hear this:

Someone judging themselves, hard.  Someone beating themselves up regularly.  Someone living in the belief that they made (and make) “wrong” choices. Someone missing their power when it comes to making decisions for their future.

Someone lacking trust in themselves and their ability to navigate tough choices.

Because they believe there are right and wrong choices, and they’re terrified of choosing wrong, AGAIN.

Here’s the truth folks… are you ready?

There are no right and wrong choices.

There are only YOUR choices.

Your major was meant to be your major.

Your relationships lasted the exact right amount of time.

If you’re still reading, try this:

Imagine your decisions are a joint effort between you and the invisible forces around you at all times – the opportunities that appear, the doors that open and close in front of you, the instincts that tug at you if you listen.

It’s a dance and we’re all just learning, just experimenting, all the time.

Tune in.

Trust.

Have self-awareness.

Have self-compassion.

Heal your relationship with the path that got you here, and you will pave the next section with confidence. 

How do we heal our confidence when it comes to making life choices? How do we get in our own corner?

Before you write down any new future goals, I challenge you to look at the stories you’re telling yourself about your past goals, direction and decisions.

And lean into accepting your whole journey up until this moment as YOU making YOUR choices in the best way you knew how to at the time. No judgment, no “wrong ” moves, just YOUR moves.

You built the road to where you’re standing. Own it and love yourself for it, even the sharp turns where there is foot-deep debris on either side, the parts where you couldn’t breathe for the smog, and the long stretches with terrible views.

This is getting in your own corner.

Do this, and move forward with light, power and purpose.


Bonus! Try these journal questions:

  1. What past decisions am I still judging myself for?
  2. What intentions were at play when I made those decisions?
  3. How can I show compassion to that former version of myself?

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About Allison

Inspiring radical evolution in work and life.

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