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Going shoeless

This summer has been unlike any other summer. Thanks to caring full time for baby F, my schedule is pretty flexible. It’s been almost a decade since my family sold their cottage in Muskoka, but I find myself freshly missing it. I romanticize it – boiled hotdogs on the front patio, squatting to pee behind trees as a …

Embracing failure 

It starts raining and J’s car is smart so the windshield wipers come on automatically. Even though the car’s not running, save the radio. Even though I’m sitting here in the parking lot of Planet Organic, I’m not sure why, I have no intention of going in. I never sat in grocery store parking lots …

Goodnight laundry (a bedtime story)

Parenting today was letting my teething four month old gnaw on my knuckles. And sleep on my body like I was a piece of furniture. Four short months ago, baby F was literally part of my body.  Attached, inside. No wonder we are connected, no wonder she regards my appendages as comfortable infrastructure for her …

Personality paradox and another reason to practice yoga

I have this friend who likes to repel down waterfalls. Or underwater. Or something. She has an adventurous spirit. When you take the Quistic test to find your Myers-Briggs personality type (it’s free here), it asks you to agree or disagree with this statement: “a sense of adventure is close to my heart”. As a Myers-Briggs enthusiast, …

Coping with change 

I’m sitting in a new spot, at the top of the stairs, on the stairs actually. Where I  can listen for baby F when she wakes. And here, under the skylight,  things look the same mostly, a bit more rickety perhaps.  I was reading one of my favourite blogs as usual and came across this. Which states unapologetically that …

Re-sizing your world

I was thinking about sharing my thoughts. “Everything I need to know I learned from parenting my three week old baby”. Or something like that. She’s bigger and I’m calmer. She grew a pound – a pound! That’s 12% of her body weight at birth. In three weeks. I slept for six hours which is …

And so it begins (a birth story)

And so it begins (a birth story)

Note: this is a real birth story. Some may find it graphic. First off, I am no longer pregnant. Now I am a mother. Which means I have a birth story. As my pregnancy went on, I heard a lot of birth stories. Many women process their birthing experiences by sharing their stories with other women. Sometimes they …

Sanctuary

It’s Christmas. It’s the last quiet Christmas morning for a while, since as of March 2016 we – we who were blithely two – we will be three. And one of the three will be small and scrunchy, adorable, but probably loud and demanding too. Teetering on the edge of that produces weird sensations. Being …

Traditions of trees and seasons

The Toronto Library has twenty-four copies of Positive Discipline, the first three years by Nelson, Erwin and Duffy. All of the copies are out there on the bedside tables of parents and parents-to-be across the city, and three more are waiting on the hold list. Make that four. I’m amazed there are so many people …

Waiting to authenticate

Waiting to authenticate

In the middle of the near silence, there came the voice of someone who had spoken a million words, someone weary with the weight of years:  “Another loss”. And then later, all of us were dumb witnesses to the tiny grandmother I would have called quiet, tough, stoic, climbing up and almost into the casket, …